by TB FreePress Thu, Dec 27, 2007

As many of you know drug abuse has plagued professional sports in recent years and The Turkey Bowl (TB) is not immune to this plight. TB founder and management took a serious stance and had implemented a covert drug screening process. The secretive testing could not have been possible with out the founders collection of post game undergarments he collected from players. These undergarments were sent to lab where they were analyzed. TB management should be proud that no steroids or human growth hormone was found. The major substances found were 80% Rogaine, 76% Viagra, 62% THC, 23% Vioxx. Unfornatly the samples may have been tainted by the fact that the founders DNA was found on all samples. Thankfully due to this testing the founder is now aware of a low sperm count and is taking actions to correct this personnel problem. The founder is asking for more post game undergarments next year and appreciates your cooperation with keeping TB drug free.